Question:

What is the worst button you could possibly push when trying to put someone on hold?

Answer:

We know this because Blaine has done this. Twice.

Case study #001:

(phone rings)

• Blaine: Hello?
• Caller: Yes, my name is Mr. Lawyerpants. I'm calling about some work that we did with you a while back. I have some questions about the research data from our case.
• Blaine: (in a smooth-talking radio dj voice) Mr. Lawyerpants, of course! Nice to hear from you again. May I put you on hold?
• Caller: Certainly.
• Blaine: (yelling down the hallway) HEY AL!!! There's this guy on the phone who says he worked with us. He has some questions about something.
• Alison: Who is it?
• Blaine: Mr. Attorneysocks, I don't know. He's on line 1.
• Alison: What does he want?
• Blaine: (irritated) How should I know? Just pick up line 1!
• Alison (attempting to pick up line 1) I can't pick up line 1; you're on line 1. Did you put him on hold?
• Blaine: Oh, @*#&!!!!

Case study #002:

(phone rings)

• Blaine: Hello?
• Caller: Hi, my name is Mr. Saleseyguy and I work for Gotgreatstuff. Can I talk to the person in charge of making decisions about buying stuff?
• Blaine (in a smooth-talking radio dj voice): Sure, please hold.
• Caller: Thanks.
• Blaine (yelling down the hallway) AL!!!! There's someone on line 1 who wants to sell us stuff! Too bad you already have someone who sells you stuff! Guess this guy is SOL! HAHahahaha!
• Alison: (attempting to pick up line 1) I can't pick up line 1; you're on line 1. Did you put him on hold?
• Blaine: OH @*#&!!!!

And THAT's why we don't answer the phones.

p.s. Administrative professionals' day is April 22.