Last month, after years of waiting patiently for a Houston commercial real estate developer to finally obliterate one of the last green-ish plots of land within the loop, one of Blaine's lifelong dreams came true: a Costco opened in our neighborhood! It's the opposite of NIMBY, it's YIMBY!
If you are like me, you probably dreamed as a kid of getting locked into a mall or department store after closing time. Sure, you'd be scared at first, but then you'd realize that you could try on ALL of the clothes and make-up, eat Frango mints until you got sick, and then drift off to sleep in one of the beds in the linen department. Your mom would probably be so impressed by your resourcefulness that she wouldn't even ground you when she picked you up the next morning. Where was I? Oh yeah, you could totally live inside a Costco.
If you are like me, you probably dreamed as a kid of getting locked into a mall or department store after closing time. Sure, you'd be scared at first, but then you'd realize that you could try on ALL of the clothes and make-up, eat Frango mints until you got sick, and then drift off to sleep in one of the beds in the linen department. Your mom would probably be so impressed by your resourcefulness that she wouldn't even ground you when she picked you up the next morning. Where was I? Oh yeah, you could totally live inside a Costco.
But just because you can live in a Costco doesn't mean you should. Poor Blaine, with his wide-eyed enthusiasm bubbling over, trying to sneak a 3-ton box of Little Debbies into the shopping cart. Sorry, buddy! We've already got all those G-D Girl Scout cookies to contend with. Also, just because Costco sells 20lb slabs of Atlantic salmon doesn't mean I want to eat that much. I mean, what if I get mercury poisoning and lose my chance to fill in as Miss Elle Woods in the musical version of Legally Blonde? I am all about the Costco cock-block. If it's not toilet paper, soap, laundry detergent, or a ten gallon drum of Oil of Olay, it's not getting in the cart. We might, though, try to get locked in after closing time.
