I got a big head and small arms. . .
For the last few months, I've been going to CrossFit Houston. I (along with many other zealots) am completely obsessed with this workout. In particular, I am crazy about the idea of doing pullups. A couple of weeks ago, I managed to do three unassisted pullups on the monkey bars along the buffalo bayou hike and bike trail. Sure, my pullups involve lots of bicycle kicking and flailing around, but still -- the chin went over the bar, so I say success! Then last Friday, Nikki and I went to what I thought would be a routine CFH workout:
10, 8, 6, 4, 2 front squats (45lb)
10, 8, 6, 4, 2 push press (45lb)
10, 8, 6, 4, 2 thrusters (45lb)
10, 20, 30, 40, 50 pullups
10, 15, 20, 25, 30 burpees
The pullups were to be done using a rubber band that would relieve some of our body weight, making the pullups easier. Also, I had done three whole pullups on my own, so this all sounded eminently reasonable. At some point during the last round of pullups, my hands started to burn. I looked down to see three open, bleeding blisters on my palms. And I noticed that the ligaments in my elbows were starting to feel like chewed gum. Puzzling. Nikki, a math major in college, had added up the reps and informed me that when all was said and done, we were to have done 150 pullups. Damn that Montessori school!!! If I could add properly, I would have known to run away from this workout (but I can pour liquids like a mofo).
At any rate, from Friday night until this very moment, I have not been able to straighten my arms. On Saturday, my elbows were cocked at a rigid 90 degree angle. Today, they have relaxed to a somewhat less overtly-freaky 135 degrees.
In case you decide it would be great fun to try doing a bunch of pullups, I have compiled a list of tasks for you to accomplish before your pullups, as you will not be able to do them once you are finished with your pullups and have open blisters on your hands and 90 degree elbows:
- Get things down from high shelves
- Shampoo your hair without wearing plastic gloves (or in my case, ziploc baggies)
- Put your hands in your pockets
- Pull up your own pants
- Turn your car (driving in a straight line is okay)
- Sleep on your back (unless you are not creeped out by sleeping with your arms crossed over your chest, like at a funeral)
- Close the hatchback on your car
- Give someone directions
Good luck!
1 comment:
I can't wait until you start walking with your arms out a little to the sides, cause you're so ripped. That and when any disagreement causes you lift out of your chair just enough to let your opponent know that you will settle this with an arm-wrestle, if it comes to that.
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